Sometimes...

I have been ditched, back stabbed, used, and so much more...I expected myself to get used to the feeling.
To get used to feeling rejected and alone.
But no.
Instead each pain cuts in deeper inside every time something like this happens.

I don't remember treating any of them wrong.
All I remember was that we all filled each other's days with a new taste happiness and love.
That's all I know, I don't remember talking behind their backs.
I don't remember saying a word against them.
I don't remember hating them even though they ignored me.
I don't remember blaming them because all I did was blame myself.
I don't remember getting mad at them for what they did to me
I don't remember thinking a single bad thought about them
Because all I did was cry and blame myself for everything



What really sucks is that there are 16 of them that's left...and it's only been half a year.
If I lose more...who do I have at the end of this year?