Can't Remember...

I can't remember the last time I woke up at five in the morning to just talk to him.

I can't remember the last time I freak whenever he doesn't reply my text messages to him. 

I can't remember the last time I stayed up all night on the phone just trying to keep him from crying because the girl he likes just doesn't feel the same way about him.
I can't remember when was the last time I actually felt like he cared.
I can't remember the last time I stayed up all night just worrying about him. Hoping he's not thinking about suicide.

I can't remember the last time I tried to make him see that I care.

I can't remember the last time I bid him "Goodnight" and "I love you".


Jacob never saw. He never saw how much it hurts whenever he asked me for advice on how to make her feel the same way that he did. Even when I told him that someone out there will love him forever, but Jacob never saw. He never saw that the someone I was talking about...the someone who will love him forever...the someone he deserves...was me.
How stupid of me. To think that someone like him would actually like someone like me. What's wrong with me? Why did I do that to Jacob? Why did I let myself think that it was love? How stupid can one person be? Why did I ever even thought that I felt something for him? What came to my mind and let him find out?